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(1) Being a parent is supposed to be difficult. What happens when you place two imperfect people together to work out all their personal and relationship issues, then add a couple challenging kids, and mix in all the stresses of modern life just for fun? Conflict. Stress. That's a given. The question is, how are you going to deal with that? Who is in control-your perfectionism, anxiety or you? Stress reveals who we really are.

(2) The purpose of relationships is transformation--they produce personal growth. You can continually ask yourself, "How can I respond when my child/spouse does something I don't like?" You'll grow up and be more patient. You will calm meltdowns in your home rather than escalating them. Or you can become a victim and say, "If only my spouse/kids would do x, I would be happy." That's a dangerous trap.

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